1. Pizza tossing can save lives.
Chefs have perfected the toss of the dough, moving their hands in a circle to achieve maximum efficiency. Scientists studied their movements to design motors mimicking those circles. Except instead of tossing a rotor once a second, the motors toss them a few million times a second.
2. It makes economics less boring.
According to the Pizza Principle, a loose law proposed by a New York lawyer back in the 1980s, the slice of a pizza has predicted the price of a subway ride since the ‘60s. Whether the parallel is alive is still debated, but pizza’s power as a barometer is indisputable.
3. It’s so perfect, it’ll be the first food printed in space.
NASA is funding a 3D food printer, and the lucky recipient of the grant’s first choice: pizza. A meal fit for an astronaut!
4. Deep-dish can have more antioxidants.
Chemists fiddled with whole-wheat pizza crusts and found that longer baking times increased antioxidants up to 60%. Even cooler (or hotter?): Higher oven temperatures upped them by as much as 82%.
5. It helps you absorb lycopene better.
Tomatoes contain lycopene, an antioxidant compound that helps ward off heart disease and other ailments. If you eat lycopene-rich foods together with a small amount of oil or fat (like, say, hot cheese), your intestines absorb more of it!
6. Its components can help with the poops…
While no amount of pizza can prevent norovirus (Price Is Right trombone here), scientists are looking into harnessing carvacrol’s power for use as a sanitizer. (The concentrated version of it is intolerable, so don’t even consider it.)
7. …and make cancer cells commit suicide.
Carvacrol can also hack into prostate-cancer cells and reprogram them to kill themselves off, which potentially can be used to help treat prostate cancer.
8. If you’re drinking beer, you might as well have a slice.
“Pizza is loaded with rich stuff, especially cheese,” says Michael Agnew, certified cicerone at A Perfect Pint. “It needs a beverage partner that will scrub all that stuff away. Carbonation and hops do that extraordinarily well.”
For beer fans: He recommends a malty beer like Vienna lager with tomato-based pizzas because the sweetness of the malt soothes the sauce’s acidity. Science!
9. You save money!
Well, only if you’re spending it in the first place. An intrepid pizza fan plotted 70,000 pizza prices and found you should always order the larger pizza.
Why? Reach into your cobwebbed math knowledge: The area of a circle increases with the square of the radius, so a 16-inch pizza is four times as big as an 8-inch one!
10. Pizza parties decline as you get older.
Don’t be a statistic. Only you can change the future of pizza consumption.
Sauce angels optional.
Scientific Reasons Love is Bad
1. The obsessive thinking.
Studies show that people in love and people suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder both have low levels of serotonin, which is what accounts for the “intrusive thoughts” that imprison you in an impenetrable cycle of thinking about your partner.
2. The separation anxiety.
The love-sick also exhibit surges in dopamine, making you hyper-anxious and forcing you to check your phone every five seconds when expecting a text from your beloved, to the annoyance of both yourself and your friends.
3. The intense dependency.
Dopamine is the “desire and reward” chemical; it’s what makes us crave the person who gives us pleasure and flip out when that pleasure is taken away.
4. The sleepless nights.
Surges in adrenaline and nonrepinephrine also cause mania, fear, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite.
5. The psycho behavior.
The chemical cocktail of high dopamine, adrenaline, and nonrepinephrine with low serotonin makes it impossible to control yourself and distorts your sense of reality.
6. The horrible addiction.
As the chemical mix grows stronger, our infatuation deepens and turns into outright addiction. In fact, fMRI scans have indicated that the brain of someone in love looks very similar to the brain of a coke addict.
7. The soul-destroying withdrawal.
And since romantic love is an addiction, the stages of being dumped are similar to getting off crack: tolerance (“I’m fine as long as I can see you once in a while”), withdrawal (“Waaah! I can’t live with you!”), and relapse (“Let’s just have sex once more for old time’s sake”).
8. The crippling jealousy…
Evolutionary scientists believe that romantic jealousy developed in men out of fear of being cuckolded and in women out of fear of being materially abandoned. However it happened, it sucks.
9. …which is usually justified.
10. The sex question.
Studies show that there’s an inverse relationship between testosterone and oxytocin, so the more intimate you get, the less you want to have sex.
11. The “old cow” syndrome.
People, especially men, are sexually attracted to novelty and turned off by familiarity, so if you’re not in love, you can look forward to men enthusiastically undressing you rather than staring at the TV.
12. The getting bored.
In the beginning of our relationship, our adrenaline spikes, but as the relationship progresses, it goes back to normal levels, making us crave that initial kick.
13. The bad surprises.
Even while in the infatuation stage, it’s possible to have a first kiss with a hottie and feel like you’re drinking chloride. That’s because when you make out, your body collects genetic information from each other’s saliva to see if you’re a good genetic match, and if you’re not it lets you know pretty forcefully.
14. The rage.
MRI scans indicate that love and rage are intimately connected in the human brain, which is why you can smack your beloved with a pan one minute and nuzzle them the next. .
15. The mind manipulation.
Studies on the caudate nucleus has led some psychologists to declare that love isn’t an emotion but rather a way in which our brain manipulates us into having sex and repopulating the earth. It’s all a mass conspiracy. BY OUR OWN MINDS.
16. The inevitable doom.
Studies have shown that while feelings of attachment and intimacy are often long-lasting, romantic love and passion inevitably wane over time. So if you’re not in love, you’ve got all the good bits to look forward to!
So next time you’re bemoaning your singleness, remember how lucky you are to be healthy and love-free!