SRK behind GHAJINI success..watsay??(by shaan khan)

There is no doubt that, inspite of so many flaws, Ghajini is a block buster hit. The box office response to Ghajini has been historical. Hats off to Ghajini. Amir Obama proves once again that he is an star actor almost in SRK’s league. Ghajini’s success is unique in many ways, for one, regardless of its flaws, we cannot lump the success of Ghajini along with Akshay’s (or Big B’s or Govinda’s) mindless comedies. While Askhay, or Govinda, or Big B in the two years of his Bollywood rein, made hay while the sun was shinning (basically the sun did all the work), Ghajini came at a time when the sun was unfavorable to action movies and yet it succeeded. Hence Ghajini is far better than all those crappy hits of Akshay or Govinda or Big B.

Nonetheless, let us analyze this a little. The success of Ghajini proves a few things.

1. Amir Obama is not the yard stick by which Bollywood measures quality. If Amir had been the measure of quality, than the critics would have penalized him for the obvious and numerous flaws in Ghajini. But, as we have seen, the critics overlooked all the flaws in Ghajini, which only means that they do not “really” expect ONLY quality from Amir Obama. One can argue that perhaps the genre of Ghajini allows cinematic liberty, but this argument falls short because critics have never taken into account cinematic liberties when evaluating SRK movies. Therefore in consideration of the fact that “What is good for the goose is good for the gander”, we have to accept that while quality is expected out of SRK and hence he is held upto that lofty standard, it is not equally expected out of Amir. Ghajini’s success destroys the Bachchanista perpetuated myth that Amir represents quality.

2. Amir is perhaps one of the most intelligent film maker is Bollywood. He like Raj Kapoor, is a better film maker than an actor (not that I am saying he is a bad actor). When faced with an hurdle called SRK, Amir invented a new paradigm, “less is more”. Perhaps, Amir was hoping that somewhere along the line SRK would fumble, and give him the opportunity to grab the ball and score a goal. Unfortunately for Amir, SRK is like the legendary horse Seabiscuit, SRK runs faster when he hears approaching footsteps. Amir’s “less is more” strategy just took him beyond the lame dilapidated horses like the Bachchans, but still left him trailing Seabiscuit. It was hence time for the intelligent Amir Obama to abandon the “less is more” strategy and adopt a new one. He figured, “if you cannot beat them, join them”. For a genuine respectable block buster (not the Akshay or Govinda or Big B kind), Amir realized that he needed SRK. Hence, the very gifted Amir decided to ride SRK’s coattails. Ghajini was therefore released along with SRK’s RNBDJ. The PR campaign of Ghajini was planned using SRK & RNBDJ as a platform. Paid journalist were placed amongst the crowd at Ghajini events to insert SRK into the discussion. Amir talked about SRK almost as if SRK was a part and parcel of Ghajini. At some events he talked less about Ghajini and more about SRK. The results of this new strategy is there for all to see. Ghajini’s success is therefore less of Amir’s success and more or SRK’s success. Mind you, it was SRK and RNBDJ which brought back the audience to the theaters after 26/11. The year 2008 has therefore proven that one needs SRK for a genuine block buster hit. If you cannot have SRK in your movies, atleast like Amir Obama and Vivek Vaswani, build him into your PR campaign.

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fashion brigade…hmmm

The Fashion Bitch goes ringa ringa roses for a ring tone

Hi sweeties! I am back again. How was your weekend? These late nights, hangovers, alcohol…I need to see a dietician before I get out of shape.

Girls always look for a short cut to glory. The Nivea Visage Femina Miss India contest aims at giving a wild card entry in the Femina Miss india to its winner.

Diana Hayden was the judge. What‘s wrong with this ex-Miss world? Isn‘t her wardrobe well organized?

She dragged out her Versace-Cavalli looking imitation bed-sheet to give it to her tailor to stitch it into this atrocious gown. Single or double shaded gowns look best for such occasions. And why is it so loose? Is she pregnant?

Hasn‘t she gained oodles of weight? I hate the dress, for a minute she almost made me hate her too. I might have been quietened into remission had she not have her bouncers netted in that fish-net wrap.

Look closely, what‘s with her modesty covered in that horrible tulle gauze?

Another beauty pageant was held in the city-The Ford super model contest, and guess who was the judge. Lady Charlie Chaplin. Atleast that‘s what Kangana Ranaut came across to me at the first glance.

What‘s happening to her sense of style? Didn‘t she find a new designer after she fought with Rick Roy? Is this her way to promote ‘Raaz 2‘? The tramp, the clown, the horror, what the ef!

Everything is in place except for the missing walking stick and the pencil thin moustache. Watch out Sridevi. Kangana Run-out!

The Bitch‘s sources are spread across the world, and pics from the CCTC premiere held at Manhattan, are here.

After reading the Bitch‘s comments, Dippy decided to heed my advice and was dressed in a red cocktail dress with a stylish hairdo and killer heels.

She‘s looking fresh and spiffy, but a shade lighter, in the red would have done the magic babes. You somehow remind me of a red chillies production…a red hot chilli turning ketchup.

Kats is gracing loads of occasions these days. After the auto India car award, she was invited to launch a health club. In a pretty aqua-blue churidaar, she looks pretty in the outfit.

I like the fall of the kurta. Some simple accessories are missing though. Even a dupatta would help no?

Piggy chops was hello-hello-ing at a phone launch. After a series of fashion blunders over the past few months, the girl was smartly dressed in a short denim dress.

Though I wonder who wears a denim dress on this planet? It‘s so damn eighties or god knows when that sort of thing was hip.

The girl should however, get rid of her phony expression, which is beginning to make me feel she‘s patsy…the same expression we have been seeing all over the town on the posters of ‘Fashion‘ and all events thereafter.

Wake up honey, and that pose you‘ve been striking ever since the crown got heavy on your head, darling finishing school drill is over babes.

Anyhoo! I need to go and check on the new handsets in town. See you guys tomorrow. Muah till then.

dev lust….

Dial D For Dev |  2009-01-02

New film to size up your morality with lust call

Marketing gimmicks have attacked movie selling business. It is no longer about films but how they are marketed.

In an instant pop culture where films are being dished out like roadside chow-chow and being consumed halfway between the windpipe and the gutter, everyone is out there to promote their sweat and trash.

And mostly it is trash, no sweat there. You will recollect how Aamir bombarded the universe with his ‘Ghajini‘ promotion drive for almost an entire year.

From haircut to video games to tattoos to cell phones to theme clones to what have you; he was a one man on a my-film-is-great mission.

John says Aamir frightens him with his dedication. Salman muscles in with the same feeling. “Ya allah, ye kya kar daala“.

It is praise for Aamir we hear. Hai allah!!!

Here‘s what‘s taking the cream pie in 2009. Anurag Kashyap, for his forthcoming ‘Dev D‘ has added a ‘lust line‘ on the film‘s website where anyone can chat with new age Chandramukhi and talk dirty in 4 diff languages.

The Bitch decided to give it a peekaboo. How could I not be there to talk dirrrty!!!

As I logged in, a woman in her whisky soaked pot smoked voice moaned, and deeply she did most sincerely.

That was a start.

Then she asked me to choose 1 language to talk dirrrty in. There was apna english, hamari Hindi, firangi French and takdhinadhin Tamil!!!

I value dirty talk in English. The other side of the planet seems to have been getting its rocks (and socks) off on that.

About the French, we know it was invented for foreplay!

But talking dirrrrty in Hindi?

Jaaneman mujhe bahut bhookh lagi hai…bahut zyada…itna bada…is pe toh main cream laga ke khaoungi…mujhe mitha lagega

Yuck!!! Eww!

Some firang babe in her tooti-frooti Hindi froths to make you horny. It‘s so damn funny I want to stick some vegetables in her mouth!

You want sexy hot Tamil talk? Listen to this, “Eeenada…aaiyyo…dirty phellow”

God! Is that what makes the moustachioed men roll up their lungis in anticipation?

Hold on to your loincloths people!

Kashyap defends the corny lust line. “The lust-line is completely in sync with the mood of the movie. It‘s a film about young people and changing morality. Someone needs to question this notion of ‘Indian morality‘. Besides, there are always going to be flags raised when it comes to any film that attempts to break conventions.”

Flags ok, but lungis? Nahi!

The lust-line does not have a dial C for Chandramukhi hotline, which is why the online lust line is there to control carpal emotions.

To which Kashyap adds, “The chat-line is online so that we can control the timings instead of having people call in all the time on a phone. Besides, Chanramukhi has the option to stop chatting if it gets uncomfortable.”

So what was the big talk about challenging Indian morality if Cha-cha-cha Chunnilal‘s Chandramukhi is going to disconnect when people huff for more than just dirty talk.

In the western hemisphere, its called small talk!

It‘s strange how Indian film makers want to whisper from behind an iron curtain for change.

Please let Chandramukhi do the talking, send her to a good rapidex hindi speaking course to improve on her lust calls, and while she‘s at it and someone makes an inappropriate request she can always end it on a classic note.

Main aisi-waisi ladki nahi hoon“. Typical Bharitiya naari pick-up line which sends men reeling for more.

Bitch ka lust-e-salaam babes!

wat’s dere 4 the biggies in 2009??

The Bitch’s forecast on Bollywood in 2009

Bollywood, more than performance and quality, relies upon astrology, and numerology for success.

So every second person is joining the numerology business lately as this has become the shortcut to earn moolah, and also meet the stars.

Every Monday morning, The Bitch very enthusiastically opens the newspapers to see her weekly forecast, but invariably, none of the predictions work. Infact, just the opposite happens.

2009 is about to begin, and the Bitch was flipping through newspapers, when she hit upon the prediction of a few Bollywood stars, by some numerologist.

The prediction speaks about number 2 and number 7, and God knows some links between them, and going by that, Ash will be a mother in 2008.

The Bitch imagines the scenario at the Bachchan household, when Ash will suddenly standup at the dinning table, and rush to the wash room and throwup, and this is how she will break the good news to her hubby darling…”Suniyeji…blush blush blush…biting her nails and looking at his eyes, and then down again…aap baap banne wale ho ji“.

Trust Abhishek to be a killjoy and puncture her happiness with “Kiska, kaise?”

2009 will be the year when Abhishek will come out to biwi about him and John. They‘ll both run together to prove it to her!

Amitabh Bachchan, according to the prediction, is likely to go through severe stress and disappointment and likely to be deceived in financial matters.

Well…all is fare in love and war. Haven‘t the Bachchans backstabbed lots of actors, and got them replaced from films? Akshay Khanna and Kareena kapoor will vouch for that. Akshay for sure will say, “Sirji, kiye ka bhugtaan to bharna hi padega na“.

2009 will be the year Big B will have killed all the bloggers in town. No connection why?

The deadliest prediction is that of Shahrukh…according to which his family will suddenly discover his spiritual side this year. What the hell does that mean?

Is he likely to drape himself in yards of saffron clothes and head straight towards Kashi, or will he become a celibate?

Poor Gauri…it‘s either Karan or straight away celibacy. Well…each to his own.

2009 will be the year SRK will announce his own Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. It will not be Gauri and him. It will not be K-Jo and him. It will be him and rab ji. Haule haule…

Ranbir Kapoor, is likely to have a moderate year…not a bad, but not a very good year either.

With his philandering habits, he isn‘t expected to have a fantastic year anyways. With every new film, comes the news of his new liaison. How long can he drag himself like that?

Also, 2009 will be the year when all the haseenas will get over him and line up for Neil Nitin Mukesh, who‘s still single we hear!!! Why?

The Saif-Kareena relation will go through ups and downs, and may eventually end. Thank God! The Bitch will no longer have to bear updates about Kareena‘s reaction when Saif sneezes, or Saifu‘s reaction when Kareena has her breakfast.

Dear tattoo!!! It will have to be rubbed so hard. We hope Saifu doesnt lose his memory like Aamir in ‘Ghajini‘ and gets violent at the sight of the tattoo on his arm everytime he raises his arm to check time on his watch. Somebody please time his watch for 15 minute alerts!!!

2009 is the year Bebo will be bored with Saifu and prowl for another man in town. But where are the men?

Preity may have ups and downs in her relationship, which will eventually affect her health. Bitch‘s advise to you babes, get married and settle down into matrimonial bliss.

Doing dull films like ‘Heaven On earth‘, and ‘Heroes‘ in the name of arty farty, will do no good to you.

2009 is the year Ness will name a jumbo plane after Preity, and no we‘re not hinting that she‘ll be the size of the plane to fit her only!

Kats babes will do great in terms of her career atleast till the mid of the year. But has numerology got to do anything with it? She anyways piggybacks on Akki, and this year too she will, in her films, ‘Blue‘, and ‘De Dana Dan‘.

The forecast says her compatibility with Salman is just about okay, and that she should rather focus on her career. Wow…what a great forecast. As if we were not aware of that.

2009 is the year Kats will prove it to her critics that she still can‘t act even for a single frame!

Now let the Bitch predict Sallubhai‘s fortune in the forthcoming year. He‘ll still be seeing plenty of Russian chicks on the side, when Kats is not looking.

We didn‘t need to predict that? What are you looking forward from Bollywood in 2009? Share your Bollywood dreams.

coutesy-bitch…

KING KHAN ROCKS AGAIN

To be very honest i was really afraid of what could be the outcome of rab ne… . it was very unlike adi to go about without much of publicity and hoopla about his movie.yes, my friends, he knew he didn’t have to waste any mullah on he had with him the leading superstar of INDIA- Mr. Shahrukh Khan.

And he has proved everyone right.After the barbaric 26/11 where my INDIA had its financial capital,aamchi mumbai under seige,politicians were being slammed and my nation was shaken.we needed something to cheer about.the Indian film industry better called as bollywood was under threat. people where not really willing to step out of their safe houses and we have this man seeing everything from mannat.It had to be India’s megastar who could only save indian film industry from what it had to go through.

came 12/12/2008, a film from the yashraj camp released. directed by the best available director in india- Mr. aditya chopra.All srk fans and foes lined up to watch the epic saga – RAB NE BANA DI JODI,which is to change the outlook of indian cinema. the lover boy goes out again to pull in the crowd.after all the reigning undisputed biggest brand available in nation was releasing his sole movie of the year. the crowds pulled up to the theatres.as the news began to pour in about the goodness of the movie there was no turning back.people from all walks of life came in to witnesses the creation of what is the next MILESTONE AFTER DDLJ. the critics all fucked up with the movie,some even went ahead to say that this is one of the biggest disaster in the film industry but they were forgetting one thing and that is mr. king khan- the ultimate actor with a fan base one can even not imagine.

the movie has gone on to set new records by making more than INR 90 crores in the first week itself and doing really well all over the world.everyone had to shutup

the movie brought out yet again the excellence of aditya chopra,srk, gullable and cute surinder sahni(character played by srk),over the top raj(alter-ego),vinay pathak and ultimately gave indian film industry its new star(anushka sharma).

the song sequence where kajol and srk come together brings back the ultimate memories of ddlj…waiting very eagerly to see both of them together yet again in my name is khan.i heard srk is rite now in los angeles shooting for the film.

THE FILM HAS MADE MORE THAN 126 CRORES GROSS WORLDWIDE WITHIN  12 days WHICH IS AN RECORD BY ITSELF.THE MONEY IS POURING IN FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.MIDDLE EAST HAS SET UP NEW RECORDS.