SRK behind GHAJINI success..watsay??(by shaan khan)

There is no doubt that, inspite of so many flaws, Ghajini is a block buster hit. The box office response to Ghajini has been historical. Hats off to Ghajini. Amir Obama proves once again that he is an star actor almost in SRK’s league. Ghajini’s success is unique in many ways, for one, regardless of its flaws, we cannot lump the success of Ghajini along with Akshay’s (or Big B’s or Govinda’s) mindless comedies. While Askhay, or Govinda, or Big B in the two years of his Bollywood rein, made hay while the sun was shinning (basically the sun did all the work), Ghajini came at a time when the sun was unfavorable to action movies and yet it succeeded. Hence Ghajini is far better than all those crappy hits of Akshay or Govinda or Big B.

Nonetheless, let us analyze this a little. The success of Ghajini proves a few things.

1. Amir Obama is not the yard stick by which Bollywood measures quality. If Amir had been the measure of quality, than the critics would have penalized him for the obvious and numerous flaws in Ghajini. But, as we have seen, the critics overlooked all the flaws in Ghajini, which only means that they do not “really” expect ONLY quality from Amir Obama. One can argue that perhaps the genre of Ghajini allows cinematic liberty, but this argument falls short because critics have never taken into account cinematic liberties when evaluating SRK movies. Therefore in consideration of the fact that “What is good for the goose is good for the gander”, we have to accept that while quality is expected out of SRK and hence he is held upto that lofty standard, it is not equally expected out of Amir. Ghajini’s success destroys the Bachchanista perpetuated myth that Amir represents quality.

2. Amir is perhaps one of the most intelligent film maker is Bollywood. He like Raj Kapoor, is a better film maker than an actor (not that I am saying he is a bad actor). When faced with an hurdle called SRK, Amir invented a new paradigm, “less is more”. Perhaps, Amir was hoping that somewhere along the line SRK would fumble, and give him the opportunity to grab the ball and score a goal. Unfortunately for Amir, SRK is like the legendary horse Seabiscuit, SRK runs faster when he hears approaching footsteps. Amir’s “less is more” strategy just took him beyond the lame dilapidated horses like the Bachchans, but still left him trailing Seabiscuit. It was hence time for the intelligent Amir Obama to abandon the “less is more” strategy and adopt a new one. He figured, “if you cannot beat them, join them”. For a genuine respectable block buster (not the Akshay or Govinda or Big B kind), Amir realized that he needed SRK. Hence, the very gifted Amir decided to ride SRK’s coattails. Ghajini was therefore released along with SRK’s RNBDJ. The PR campaign of Ghajini was planned using SRK & RNBDJ as a platform. Paid journalist were placed amongst the crowd at Ghajini events to insert SRK into the discussion. Amir talked about SRK almost as if SRK was a part and parcel of Ghajini. At some events he talked less about Ghajini and more about SRK. The results of this new strategy is there for all to see. Ghajini’s success is therefore less of Amir’s success and more or SRK’s success. Mind you, it was SRK and RNBDJ which brought back the audience to the theaters after 26/11. The year 2008 has therefore proven that one needs SRK for a genuine block buster hit. If you cannot have SRK in your movies, atleast like Amir Obama and Vivek Vaswani, build him into your PR campaign.

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wat’s dere 4 the biggies in 2009??

The Bitch’s forecast on Bollywood in 2009

Bollywood, more than performance and quality, relies upon astrology, and numerology for success.

So every second person is joining the numerology business lately as this has become the shortcut to earn moolah, and also meet the stars.

Every Monday morning, The Bitch very enthusiastically opens the newspapers to see her weekly forecast, but invariably, none of the predictions work. Infact, just the opposite happens.

2009 is about to begin, and the Bitch was flipping through newspapers, when she hit upon the prediction of a few Bollywood stars, by some numerologist.

The prediction speaks about number 2 and number 7, and God knows some links between them, and going by that, Ash will be a mother in 2008.

The Bitch imagines the scenario at the Bachchan household, when Ash will suddenly standup at the dinning table, and rush to the wash room and throwup, and this is how she will break the good news to her hubby darling…”Suniyeji…blush blush blush…biting her nails and looking at his eyes, and then down again…aap baap banne wale ho ji“.

Trust Abhishek to be a killjoy and puncture her happiness with “Kiska, kaise?”

2009 will be the year when Abhishek will come out to biwi about him and John. They‘ll both run together to prove it to her!

Amitabh Bachchan, according to the prediction, is likely to go through severe stress and disappointment and likely to be deceived in financial matters.

Well…all is fare in love and war. Haven‘t the Bachchans backstabbed lots of actors, and got them replaced from films? Akshay Khanna and Kareena kapoor will vouch for that. Akshay for sure will say, “Sirji, kiye ka bhugtaan to bharna hi padega na“.

2009 will be the year Big B will have killed all the bloggers in town. No connection why?

The deadliest prediction is that of Shahrukh…according to which his family will suddenly discover his spiritual side this year. What the hell does that mean?

Is he likely to drape himself in yards of saffron clothes and head straight towards Kashi, or will he become a celibate?

Poor Gauri…it‘s either Karan or straight away celibacy. Well…each to his own.

2009 will be the year SRK will announce his own Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. It will not be Gauri and him. It will not be K-Jo and him. It will be him and rab ji. Haule haule…

Ranbir Kapoor, is likely to have a moderate year…not a bad, but not a very good year either.

With his philandering habits, he isn‘t expected to have a fantastic year anyways. With every new film, comes the news of his new liaison. How long can he drag himself like that?

Also, 2009 will be the year when all the haseenas will get over him and line up for Neil Nitin Mukesh, who‘s still single we hear!!! Why?

The Saif-Kareena relation will go through ups and downs, and may eventually end. Thank God! The Bitch will no longer have to bear updates about Kareena‘s reaction when Saif sneezes, or Saifu‘s reaction when Kareena has her breakfast.

Dear tattoo!!! It will have to be rubbed so hard. We hope Saifu doesnt lose his memory like Aamir in ‘Ghajini‘ and gets violent at the sight of the tattoo on his arm everytime he raises his arm to check time on his watch. Somebody please time his watch for 15 minute alerts!!!

2009 is the year Bebo will be bored with Saifu and prowl for another man in town. But where are the men?

Preity may have ups and downs in her relationship, which will eventually affect her health. Bitch‘s advise to you babes, get married and settle down into matrimonial bliss.

Doing dull films like ‘Heaven On earth‘, and ‘Heroes‘ in the name of arty farty, will do no good to you.

2009 is the year Ness will name a jumbo plane after Preity, and no we‘re not hinting that she‘ll be the size of the plane to fit her only!

Kats babes will do great in terms of her career atleast till the mid of the year. But has numerology got to do anything with it? She anyways piggybacks on Akki, and this year too she will, in her films, ‘Blue‘, and ‘De Dana Dan‘.

The forecast says her compatibility with Salman is just about okay, and that she should rather focus on her career. Wow…what a great forecast. As if we were not aware of that.

2009 is the year Kats will prove it to her critics that she still can‘t act even for a single frame!

Now let the Bitch predict Sallubhai‘s fortune in the forthcoming year. He‘ll still be seeing plenty of Russian chicks on the side, when Kats is not looking.

We didn‘t need to predict that? What are you looking forward from Bollywood in 2009? Share your Bollywood dreams.

coutesy-bitch…

OPEN LETTER BY A FAN(BIG BACHCHALAN)

Dear Mr. Bachchalan:

I guess long before the law abiding Vijay of Prakash Mehra’s Zanjeer turned into the child molester Vijay of RGV’s Nisabdh, I ceased being your fan. These days watching you is like watching a lame old horse struggle to cross the finish line. But I remain your voice of reason.

Last YEAR was another year, and sure enough we had another two flops from you. Watching your career graph is like watching the Dow Jones chart upside down, you hit a new low fairly regularly. People out of the goodness of their heart are calling SOAL as the highest grossing Appoorva movie in an effort to provide you with a soft landing. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, “”The film flopped, but Big B was not bad”. That sentence has now become a national lullaby. I hate to say this (for fear of breaking your heart) but you have the distinct honor of having the reverse Midas touch, i.e One touch and even Gold turns into shit (e.g. KBC, Thank God for SRK who revived a dead show).

A lot of Desis think you have soiled India’s image around the world by turning Jalsa into a new Jalianwala Baugh on April 20, 2007. Shame on you for beating up the journalist. Did you forget that they too are human ? But then when one hears about the way you treated Prakash Mehra, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Mehmood, Parveen Babi, one is not surprised. What can you expect from a person of whom it is said that he once aspired to be a washable and reusable tampon for Parveen Babi.

Honestly, as I have said to you before, you have two choices. Either you can become the modern day Ashok Kumar or the modern day Mr. Irrelevent himself, i.e. Dev Anand. Right now you are running neck to neck with Dev Anand, but as a former fan I suggest you take a hold of your career, and switch to the Ashok Kumar track.

I commend you for praising SRK and the new KBC. I am sure by now you have heard about the amount of money the sponsors are willing to pay for SRK (KBC3). Unfortunately you could never in your wildest dreams command so much money. But then after taking such a positive step forward (i.e. Praising SRK) why the attack on Vivek Oberoi’s performance in SOAL courtesy Mr. P.K. Gaa & Mr. Gupt Gyan. Why are you instigating him ? Why say that he was over the top when you were likewise also extremely over the top in “Black”.

Your blogs also sucks. its not the rite way of earning money.your career is falling down.your lil C’s(abhishek) caeer is under threat by noone  other than tushaar kapoor and dino morea.

one advice to it just fall at the feet of king khan who can now only revive your career as he did once with mohbaatien.

stop supporting that over the top amar singh.he was the sole reason for your fight with the baadshaah.

All we ask is a little shame. Please do not erode your legacy anymore. There is a third choice too, retire gracefully like Dilip Kumar.

love

your ex-fan

nishabd