Dial D For Dev | 2009-01-02
New film to size up your morality with lust call
Marketing gimmicks have attacked movie selling business. It is no longer about films but how they are marketed.
In an instant pop culture where films are being dished out like roadside chow-chow and being consumed halfway between the windpipe and the gutter, everyone is out there to promote their sweat and trash.
And mostly it is trash, no sweat there. You will recollect how Aamir bombarded the universe with his ‘Ghajini‘ promotion drive for almost an entire year.
From haircut to video games to tattoos to cell phones to theme clones to what have you; he was a one man on a my-film-is-great mission.
John says Aamir frightens him with his dedication. Salman muscles in with the same feeling. “Ya allah, ye kya kar daala“.
It is praise for Aamir we hear. Hai allah!!!
Here‘s what‘s taking the cream pie in 2009. Anurag Kashyap, for his forthcoming ‘Dev D‘ has added a ‘lust line‘ on the film‘s website where anyone can chat with new age Chandramukhi and talk dirty in 4 diff languages.
The Bitch decided to give it a peekaboo. How could I not be there to talk dirrrty!!!
As I logged in, a woman in her whisky soaked pot smoked voice moaned, and deeply she did most sincerely.
That was a start.
Then she asked me to choose 1 language to talk dirrrty in. There was apna english, hamari Hindi, firangi French and takdhinadhin Tamil!!!
I value dirty talk in English. The other side of the planet seems to have been getting its rocks (and socks) off on that.
About the French, we know it was invented for foreplay!
But talking dirrrrty in Hindi?
“Jaaneman mujhe bahut bhookh lagi hai…bahut zyada…itna bada…is pe toh main cream laga ke khaoungi…mujhe mitha lagega�
Some firang babe in her tooti-frooti Hindi froths to make you horny. It‘s so damn funny I want to stick some vegetables in her mouth!
You want sexy hot Tamil talk? Listen to this, “Eeenada…aaiyyo…dirty phellow”
God! Is that what makes the moustachioed men roll up their lungis in anticipation?
Hold on to your loincloths people!
Kashyap defends the corny lust line. “The lust-line is completely in sync with the mood of the movie. It‘s a film about young people and changing morality. Someone needs to question this notion of ‘Indian morality‘. Besides, there are always going to be flags raised when it comes to any film that attempts to break conventions.”
Flags ok, but lungis? Nahi!
The lust-line does not have a dial C for Chandramukhi hotline, which is why the online lust line is there to control carpal emotions.
To which Kashyap adds, “The chat-line is online so that we can control the timings instead of having people call in all the time on a phone. Besides, Chanramukhi has the option to stop chatting if it gets uncomfortable.”
So what was the big talk about challenging Indian morality if Cha-cha-cha Chunnilal‘s Chandramukhi is going to disconnect when people huff for more than just dirty talk.
In the western hemisphere, its called small talk!
It‘s strange how Indian film makers want to whisper from behind an iron curtain for change.
Please let Chandramukhi do the talking, send her to a good rapidex hindi speaking course to improve on her lust calls, and while she‘s at it and someone makes an inappropriate request she can always end it on a classic note.
“Main aisi-waisi ladki nahi hoon“. Typical Bharitiya naari pick-up line which sends men reeling for more.
Bitch ka lust-e-salaam babes!